Facebook — the root of all evil?
Much has been said about the dangers of Facebook. We’ll stop meeting people in person. We’ll loose our people skills. We’ll get cancer due to decrease in activity (an article in the Mail I read online just now when I googled ‘Facebook’!). Facebook will send us all to an early grave, so they say.
But I think it’s cool. I struggle to see that the time I spend on it is time I would otherwise have been meeting people in ‘real life’. I meet a lot of people in real life, a lot of time time… work, family, friends, church, various committees and suchlike… people people everywhere! And from what I can see from many of my friends on Facebook, they lead similar lives; teachers, vicars, youthworkers, publishers, students… none of these are staying in 24/7 to stare at the screen, immersing themselves with the oh-so-dangerous virtual world that is… Facebook.
Ah, now, I ought to ‘fess up’, now we’ve got onto the actual topic of ‘Facebook friends’. When I first signed up (or signed my life away, depending on your view) I laughed in the face of those who had 200 or even 300 and something friends (not that they could see or hear me laughing, such is the beauty of the system). That would never happen to me. MY Facebook account was to be for real friends; people I actually knew. Not just random anyones. Oh no.
But here’s the thing – I currently have… (just got to log in and check…) a grand total of 305 friends. That said, I can proclaim quite confidently that I know each and every one of them. Old school or church friends, current work and church friends, old work friends, my kids friends’ parents… you get the picture. The only exception to this is a small handful of teenage/student girls who read my books and then applied to be my friend… well, I don’t have many fans, so there’s no way I’m going to reject these discerning lasses!
Granted, some people may well spend their whole lives on Facebook, barely coming up for air, talking to random people, playing silly games, etc. But can’t the same be said for almost anything: computer games, reading, TV… there are many obsessions that aren’t exactly beneficial or healthy – we all know that. On the whole, the people (all 305 of them) that I see using Facebook are just happy to be keeping in touch with those they wouldn’t otherwise be in touch with. Likewise, they enjoy making comments on their work mates holiday snaps, or mate down the roads photos of their newborn baby. It’s personal. It’s accessible. It’s free!
For me, the best bit has been connecting with members of my wider family. We’re not really in touch via phone/email, on the whole. But now I’ve found some of my cousins on Facebook and some of my husband’s… there’s no stopping us! We’re suddenly more in touch than ever, which feels great. This morning, not only did I learn that my cousin’s daughter had got into Cardiff University (based on her A’Level results) I could view her celebratory photos AND I was able to congratulate her, instantly! If it weren’t for Facebook, I would never have known. A minor example, I guess, but it works for me.
The ability to put photos on my page, and let others see our holiday snaps, or day trips, or birthdays, etc, really is the highlight for me. Friends now say “Oh, I see you had a great time in…(wherever)” and I know that they’ve shared that part of my life with me. It would have been highly unlikely that I’d have brought photos into work and showed certain colleagues, but those on Facebook are now that much closer to ‘me’ and I like that. I can see that some wouldn’t, but then that’s why all those privacy bits are in place.
Yes, I’ve graduated from only going on Facebook when I had an email alerting me to a message or similar, to logging on most days, just to see what’s ‘going down’. So shoot me (seeing as I’m destined to die young due to my daily Facebook useage anyway). I’ve also recently sussed out how to organise my ‘friends’ and ‘hide’ certain people, so that on my ‘news feed’ I only read about those people I… errrr… am actually interested in. Which sounds mean, but it’s the only way I can see, at a glance, what’s going on in the lives of those I’m closest to.
And no one, but no one, is close to 305 people.
Any further, and preferably more ground-breaking, Facebook thoughts gratefully received.
August 24th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I thought 25 ‘friends’ would be a good number, although I currently have 26. I’ve also found it is a good way to keep in touch with members of the wider family, and sometimes, even my sister, as well as some old school friends. I’m not sure of the point of so many friends you wouldn’t have time to respond to them all if you wanted to.
Like anything, it’s fine if part of a healthy balance. If someone is spending an unhealthy amount of time on facebook they probably have a bigger problem and would just been doing something more traditionally unhealthy instead.
August 25th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Yes, I think 25 sounds like a good number of facebook friends to have! I find that, with my system of ‘hiding’ quite a lot of friends from my news feed, if I check it once a day or every other day, I can keep up with what my closer friends/rellies are doing, no probs!
I do like to see when an old school friend has had a new baby or got engaged, etc! Thus, I like to keep them as my facebook friends, just so I can keep up.
September 25th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Annie, please share how you can hide certain friends on FB. I would like to do it. Enjoyed your blog about Facebook. Very interesting, and I agree. (altho may be bordering on being one of those people who’s on it too much!)
October 3rd, 2009 at 8:25 pm
well Joanna, when you’re on the ‘home’ page and looking at the news feed, if you hover to the right of the person’s status, you can see a little ‘hide’ option appear. If you click on this, you can opt to ‘hide’ them from your news feed.
It works well, as long as you remember who you’ve hidden and who you haven’t!
It’s made it so much easier for me… hope it works for you too!
November 19th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
I’m quite new to Facebook – started about 4 months ago. I would feel out of the loop if I left. Like with anything, it’s about how you use it. I’ve been intrigued by how people’s comments reveal so much about them.
As a race we never seem to get more conventional the more freedom there is to say exactly what we want! There’s a whole set of conventions that’s arisen for emailing, and now FB! (Eg writing in capitals is ’shouting’ etc.) I’m intrigued by the way FB says ‘What’s on your mind?’ and shows your photo. I find it lures me into say things….feel like typing sometimes ‘Do you really want to know?’
November 19th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Just proof-read my Comment – after posting it! A huge typo, well a whole word inserted that shouldn’t be there – ie meant to write ‘As a race we seem to get more conventional the more freedom there is’. (Somehow the word ‘never’ was left in there – something I was trying to write before!!)
November 21st, 2009 at 9:00 am
Yes, i also find myself ‘lured’ into saying what’s on my mind. It’s actually quite nice that someone’s interested in what’s on my mind, even if it is only a computer programme that is saying ‘what’s on your mind?’ automatically and doesn’t care one tiny jot!