Was sent this to review.
Good cover.
Not a great start to the book… a few chapters in and I wondered if there was much point in reading on. In fact, I really wasn’t sure I could force myself to. If there isn’t a ‘desperate want or need’ in those first few pages then I find it v hard to read on. We’re presented with a perfect middle-class American christian family… which annoyed me no end. Then it transpires that grandma has had a stroke, which is a little bit interesting but not all that gripping. At this point I struggled to see what this book was really going to be about.

But it did get better… the ‘perfect’ family went to pot. I know this shouldn’t make me happy, and I hate couples splitting up and children getting hurt and all that… but at least it introduced some decent ‘conflict’ into the novel and we actually had something to get our teeth into.

Later on still I found myself slightly more interested in that the couple were a very similar age to us and had been married for just about as long AND had a daughter roughly the same age as ours! This meant I could relate to it all a bit more; it made me wonder what it would be like for us if one of our parents had a stroke and needed caring for, etc.

I was pleased to see that the ‘Christian’ bits weren’t too cringe-tastic and didn’t ruin the ‘flow’ of the book, as so often happens with christian fiction. I couldn’t say I was gripped by this book or that I’d particularly recommend it to someone, although I might if they had a parent who’d just had a stroke. I did like the way it didn’t end up too ‘happily ever after’ (in terms of both the couple getting back together and the mum with her stroke). I even shed a tear at the end when the Mum managed a little speech despite her stroke… and any book that can ‘move’ the reader has got to be given some credit, imho!

So, not that fab overall, but did make me think (re parents/strokes/marriage V career choices) due to the fact that I could relate to the protagonist, so not a total flop. A bit of humour wouldn’t have gone a miss.

PLEASE don’t think that I think that I can write poetry, as I’ve barely ever written any and it’s really not my thing.

But, was dead chuffed that someone has been able to use my ‘Burn’s Night’ poem (reply from the Lassies)…!

I had this comment on this blog just the other day:

Hello,
Just a line to thank you for putting your ‘Reply from the Lassies’ on-line. I was asked to do it for our Burns Night and was so relieved to find it! I changed it to make it relevant to us—
Once again thanks—you saved me hours of effort
Elsie Smith

and then this one:
thank GOD you posted this… it is the only useful reply from the lassies i could find anywhere. will happily plagerise parts if you don’t mind
from someone else.

Which now means that of the 2 poems I’ve ever written (well, since primary school)… one was rewarded with a box of pies (hurrah!) and the other was ‘used’ by at least 2 ‘lassies’ at a Burns Night. It’s nice to feel useful!

Don’t worry – have no plans to inflict any more ‘poetry’ on the world… at least, not until I’ve run out of pies…!

Have recently been sent this book (for free) so I could review on this blog.

That Certain Spark, by Cathy Marie Hake (published by Bethany House)

Pros:
The cover! It’s awesome. Covers are v important. I’ve never quite got over how v v bad the covers of my 2 novels are (I had no say in it). This cover is quite inviting. That said, it meant I could instantly see it wasn’t really my kind of read, but nevertheless, a good cover. I notice that some of her other books have similarly good covers. Lucky her!
The heroine’s love interest... who spends most of the book being far more interested than she is! Nice tension. Good build up of healthy passion! Of course I knew that they’d end up together, but it didn’t matter: I was quite content to follow this storyline through.
I didn’t relish the times I sat down to read this. It was more a matter of ‘Right, better read some more of that novel then, I guess, if I really have to’ (this is going to turn into a ‘pro’, honest)… but I think there was once when I was reading it, and I realised I ought to get on and cook the tea, but I realised I would rather continue with reading as it was getting interesting. ANY novel that can do that is a good one, or at least it has some good bits in it.
Overall, I found I could ‘picture’ the scene, with the main characters playing out their part and so on. Again, any novel that can act as a ‘film’ in your head, as it were, is fab. No wonder she’s sold over 25 novels. I’m not jealous. I’m only 23 behind. Who’s counting anyway?

Cons:
The ‘Christian’ stuff (not as well delivered as perhaps could have been… didn’t come across as natural enough, imho).
The relationship between the heroine’s brother and the woman he ’selected’ to be his wife… all a bit too ‘cushy’. An attempt at un-cushing their relationship comes later on, with her having a serious illness and him being her tower of strength… but this storyline just annoyed me… not sure why.
Lack of humour.

I think that’s about it. It’s hard to judge a book that’s outside the genre you normally immerse yourself in (hours and hours and hours and…) as you have little to compare it to, but still, I’ve given it my best shot… so there.

Yes, my writing career has reached the giddy heights of being… paid in pies. For some writing. A poem, in fact. A pie poem I posted on this blog after tasting some rather heavenly pies at Greenbelt this summer, here.

The pieminister people found it, put it in their winter newsletter and paid me by sending a box of their fine pies (worth about fifty quid!).

Poetry isn’t really my thing (which you’ll be nodding your head in agreement with if you’ve read the poem in question!) but now I’ve been paid for a poem, even paid in pies, I am going to consider myself a professional poet (as surely when one is paid for their craft they can be considered a professional?!).

Have jested with hubbie that although he may be the primary breadwinner of our family… I am now the pie-winner.
(It’s such rib-tickling humour that keeps our marriage alive, I’m sure.)

So, I’m a poet. A pie poet. A pie-ate.
Anyway, the aforementioned pies are now napping in my freezer, waiting to be re-awakened on some future occasion (xmas day breakie perhaps?).
Yum scrum.

Delivery of box of pies piccies here.

An article I’ve just written for the Generous website

Spend less and be more Generous

In 1647, the English Parliament passed a law that made Christmas illegal. Oliver Cromwell banned Christmas festivities, considering feasting and revelry on a ‘holy day’ immoral. Anybody caught celebrating Christmas was arrested. The ban was only lifted when the Puritans lost power in 1660.

The reason for mentioning this rather random historical fact is that I tend to feel rather like Cromwell’s long lost distant descendant at this time of year. Not because I aim to be, please understand. More because the ideas I choose to promote sometimes paint me as a bit of a Scrooge.

In actual fact, I’m totally in favour of ‘feasting and revelry’ and am a huge fan of the season in general. In addition to the standard merriment, food and partying, it’s a fantastic opportunity to show hospitality towards those neighbours or work colleagues that we tend to ignore. Also for using the occasion to strengthen family ties.

But when it comes to presents under the tree, ‘giving generously’ doesn’t mean we ought to re-mortgage our homes. If anything, it might be more generous to give a less expensive gift, but give it a bit more thought.

For example, a voucher that says, ‘I’ll babysit for you once a month this coming year’. Or what about buying books, DVDs, CDs, games etc. second-hand off eBay or Amazon… or from a local charity shop? And any money that we then save – by getting less expensive presents – could be directed towards those who really need it. Those who won’t be enjoying all of the festivities that we will; who wouldn’t notice if their country made Christmas illegal again. (As Bob Geldof would have us sing: ‘Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?’)

So, what about spending half as much as we usually would on family members this year, and, with the money saved, buy a goat (or similar) for those in need… and tell the family on Christmas Day? Or did you know that for £60 you can twin your toilet with one built in Burundi, for those who aren’t used to such luxuries (toilettwinning.org)?

If you’re feeling very ambitious and have time on our hands, then to make a present is a generous yet cheap idea: knit a scarf, bake a cake, paint a picture, compose a song, write a poem. Go on, I will if you will! It’s not illegal, we won’t get arrested, and, if we do something generous with the money we save by not splashing out, we’ll be making a difference to those in need, which can’t be bad.

I am quite chuffed to be a part of the latest podcast on the Greenbelt website… all about Christmas and being ‘Generous’ etc.
You can listen to it here

My local Wetherspoons asked me to be their ‘guest local author’ at their very first Book Group! They offered free tea and coffee to all who attended and even handed round choccie biccies… yum yum!
It all went OK. We went round saying what book we were reading at the moment and what we thought of it. I just about managed to answer questions about Dear Bob (1st novel)… it was 6 years ago it was published, so had a quick skim through it before I left the house to refresh my memory! One man had written a novel and wanted advice about how to go about getting it published; it was nice to feel useful!
An old school friend of mine saw my message about the event on facebook and decided to come… we hadn’t seen each other in 19 years, so that was fab.
Dear Bob was distributed to all present, the plan being that they read it before next month’s group, then come back and discuss it. I said they were welcome to say anything negative about it they wanted, as long as they bought me a large glass of white wine first, so I could drown my sorrows. Hope no one thought I was joking!

It was well-advertised in the local press
And a good follow-up piece here
and here

It seems but a lifetime away, but before the memory fades altogether, being extinguished by thoughts of xmas and suchlike, just wanted to put in a couple of links:

here is what the GB website came up with this year. Interesting, as they’d asked for a biog, I’d sent them one… then they chose to ignore it and use one they’d had from 2005! Thus, it mentions that I work on the mags I used to work on, that are now extinct.
They had one back in 2005, when I was doing more literary stuff there, rather than eco (I’ve done ’something’ there every year since then I think, for my sins).

My this year’s talk has also been recorded, which is a 1st. Either they just got carried away and decided to record all talks this year… or it was my fair trade banana jokes that forced them to make my talk available to be inflicted on the masses. Hmmmm..
It’s available for buying here, should anyone be interested.

They weren’t really ‘fair trade banana’ jokes, as such things don’t exist, as far as I am aware. They were just ‘regular’ banana jokes, that I shamelessly used, and asked people to assume the bananas in question were, indeed, fairly traded… so that my jokes would bear some relevance on my talk.

There was also some toilet humour (that linked in with the concept of ’sponsoring a toilet’ in a developing country)…have a strong suspicion that next year I’ll be asked, nay, begged, to be on main stage, delivering my FT banana/loo jokes to vast crowds of laughing (or groaning) greenbelters.
Oh yes.

Greenbelt Ministry

I was ministered to at Greenbelt.
In an unexpected way
I had to queue to get it
Ye highlight of my day

My fellow queuers clearly
Had received such love before
It was painted on their faces;
Eager, smiling… wanting more

I knew I’d made the perfect choice
Joined this queue – this one alone
My happy fate approacheth
Secret fantasies finally known.

Heidi was my pie of choice
Goats cheese and potato sweet
(Pretentious and middle class)
Though Moo and Blue looked fab to eat

And how I loved the taste
Of the pretentious middle-class
It hugged my soul so very tight
My expectations were surpassed.

Lo, the pie was not alone
Yet adorned with a dollop of mash
Not as grim as at school meals
Miles advanced of that trash

To make it even more divine
Gravy was poured on top
Though they had named it ‘groovy’
How very quaint is this shop?

There were no lies abounding
Groovy was at the core
‘Tis why I gave up six pounds fifty
And considered coming back for more

Heidi was now my one true love
(Hubby could have cause for concern
But then he’s never had a Heidi
Not as far as I’ve known)

The pies that they were out of
Were blessed with a little note
‘Gone to pie heaven’
A very groovy quote

It seems they’re Made in Banksy-land
Rather than Hong Kong
Formerly known as Bristol
Where queues are just as long

At the Belt that’s made of Green
A queue is so the norm
If Brits are fairly into queues
It’s for what Greenbelter’s are born

We queue to get in on day one
For talks and music too
We stand and wait, then waiteth some more
We even queue to poo

So if they tried to sell their pies
In lands far far from here
Would people queue up orderly?
Would anarchy appear?

A tiny prick of tears is formed
When one is forced to think
Of worried pies, of Heidi’s cries
With anarchy on the brink

When my body’s all queued out
And numbered are my days
Pie Heaven’s where I’m destined
My ticket is One Way

pieminister (the pie shop’s name)
Will dominate the place
Pies will be free; queues will be gone
Pie smiles on every face

They’ll be no tears nor pain nor fear
Due to pies for all the hours
Clouds made from mash will float on by
And rain down groovy showers

The Lord of the Pies will sort me out
Heidi greet me at the Pie-ly Gate
I will scoff and not grow weary
Munch pies, and not be faint

—————————————————

Please note, this poem is not sponsored by pieminister, and I live at least an hour away from Bristol.
Feel free to view my GB piccies here

Much has been said about the dangers of Facebook. We’ll stop meeting people in person. We’ll loose our people skills. We’ll get cancer due to decrease in activity (an article in the Mail I read online just now when I googled ‘Facebook’!). Facebook will send us all to an early grave, so they say.

But I think it’s cool. I struggle to see that the time I spend on it is time I would otherwise have been meeting people in ‘real life’. I meet a lot of people in real life, a lot of time time… work, family, friends, church, various committees and suchlike… people people everywhere! And from what I can see from many of my friends on Facebook, they lead similar lives; teachers, vicars, youthworkers, publishers, students… none of these are staying in 24/7 to stare at the screen, immersing themselves with the oh-so-dangerous virtual world that is… Facebook.

Ah, now, I ought to ‘fess up’, now we’ve got onto the actual topic of ‘Facebook friends’. When I first signed up (or signed my life away, depending on your view) I laughed in the face of those who had 200 or even 300 and something friends (not that they could see or hear me laughing, such is the beauty of the system). That would never happen to me. MY Facebook account was to be for real friends; people I actually knew. Not just random anyones. Oh no.

But here’s the thing – I currently have… (just got to log in and check…) a grand total of 305 friends. That said, I can proclaim quite confidently that I know each and every one of them. Old school or church friends, current work and church friends, old work friends, my kids friends’ parents… you get the picture. The only exception to this is a small handful of teenage/student girls who read my books and then applied to be my friend… well, I don’t have many fans, so there’s no way I’m going to reject these discerning lasses!

Granted, some people may well spend their whole lives on Facebook, barely coming up for air, talking to random people, playing silly games, etc. But can’t the same be said for almost anything: computer games, reading, TV… there are many obsessions that aren’t exactly beneficial or healthy – we all know that. On the whole, the people (all 305 of them) that I see using Facebook are just happy to be keeping in touch with those they wouldn’t otherwise be in touch with. Likewise, they enjoy making comments on their work mates holiday snaps, or mate down the roads photos of their newborn baby. It’s personal. It’s accessible. It’s free!

For me, the best bit has been connecting with members of my wider family. We’re not really in touch via phone/email, on the whole. But now I’ve found some of my cousins on Facebook and some of my husband’s… there’s no stopping us! We’re suddenly more in touch than ever, which feels great. This morning, not only did I learn that my cousin’s daughter had got into Cardiff University (based on her A’Level results) I could view her celebratory photos AND I was able to congratulate her, instantly! If it weren’t for Facebook, I would never have known. A minor example, I guess, but it works for me.

The ability to put photos on my page, and let others see our holiday snaps, or day trips, or birthdays, etc, really is the highlight for me. Friends now say “Oh, I see you had a great time in…(wherever)” and I know that they’ve shared that part of my life with me. It would have been highly unlikely that I’d have brought photos into work and showed certain colleagues, but those on Facebook are now that much closer to ‘me’ and I like that. I can see that some wouldn’t, but then that’s why all those privacy bits are in place.

Yes, I’ve graduated from only going on Facebook when I had an email alerting me to a message or similar, to logging on most days, just to see what’s ‘going down’. So shoot me (seeing as I’m destined to die young due to my daily Facebook useage anyway). I’ve also recently sussed out how to organise my ‘friends’ and ‘hide’ certain people, so that on my ‘news feed’ I only read about those people I… errrr… am actually interested in. Which sounds mean, but it’s the only way I can see, at a glance, what’s going on in the lives of those I’m closest to.
And no one, but no one, is close to 305 people.

Any further, and preferably more ground-breaking, Facebook thoughts gratefully received.

This has just been published here on Generous website.
They have also interviewed me here

Generous wrinkles?

Do adverts on the telly stop us being ‘generous’? When we suffer yet another commercial break that inconveniently interrupts what we were attempting to enjoy, does it matter? Do we kid ourselves when we say that we just ignore them; that they don’t have any influence over us… that they don’t alter our efforts to shop less, to buy local/fair trade/organic/eco-friendly, etc?

Take the recent hype over the cream that claims to get rid of your wrinkles, by No.7. When the ‘news’ broke recently, that scientists had done a study and found that for once, a beauty product’s claims were accurate, the result was predictable. In the Boots’ outlet at Liverpool Street, London, over 400 bottles were sold within 90 minutes of the store opening.

But those of us who are hard-core Generous Shoppers aren’t so gullible.
No, we’re not.
Are we?
Errrr… yes, just a bit.

When last in Boots (and I’m rarely in there) I passed a huge display of said product. I paused. I have wrinkles. As they say in the States: do the math! Now, please bear in mind I am not one to splash out on beauty products of any sort and don’t even wear make up. The essentials I do buy tend to be of the generous sort. But I paused, picked up a bottle of said product, held it for a few seconds, thought about my skin and the fantasy of turning back time… then realised it was twenty quid and swiftly returned it to its display.

Proof, then, that adverts have power, even over those of us who consider ourselves immune. What if it had cost two quid – would I have bought it? Please don’t ask me that as I’m trying to put the whole sorry episode behind me. But beware – we’re only human, and while we know that wasting money is not helpful to us, or to people and planet at large, sometimes we’re more susceptible to clever advertising than we realise.
And sometimes we just have to learn to re-name our wrinkles ‘laughter lines’, and move on.

… is the Wii Fit
I bought myself earlier this year! Here is a quick review:

Good: It’s great for exercising when the weather means I can’t (or refuse to) jog or cycle. Lots of variety of exercise. Love the way the other characters are so encouraging of my efforts to workout, like the 2 who throw hoops to me when I’m doing hula-hooping… they are so kind to stand there and do that, with no benefit to themselves, and smiling all the while. Likewise, those who jog past me tend to look my way, and give me a great big encouraging smile. How nice! This just doesn’t happen in real life (that said, dog-walkers tend to say hi). My trainer is also most friendly and encouraging – almost feel like I know her! A friend of mine (not a Christian) commented that the island you can jog around makes her think of heaven. I know what she means.

Could try harder: Yes there’s a lot of variety, but now I’ve done it a lot (once or twice a week, usually) I do feel like I’m fast running out of surprises. It’s a shame that there aren’t more exercises to unlock, or will those be on version 2, that will cost me another £70, or perhaps even more?! And although my trainer says nice things, they are the SAME things, over and over. Once she’s said it once, that’s enough – it really is. And on that note, it would be useful if instead of her talking though my exercises, I could do something more interesting. So, when I’m doing a 10 min hula-hoop, for example, wouldn’t it be fab if I could use the remote to go online and view facebook, or email, or websites and stuff?! It would make the time fly by faster! There is an option where you can watch TV when you jog, but still… they could be a bit more creative with this. Perhaps the technology just isn’t there (bear in mind I know nothing re technology – almost total luddite!).
Also, I have recently started on ‘interval training’ (whilst jogging, cycling and swimming). But Wii fit is no good for this as there’s nothing that really gets your heart going, despite having several ‘aerobic’ options. What I do is do the less energetic bits using Wii fit, and then do skipping for my ‘flat-out’ intervals, as it were. Which means I have to use a timer and it’s a bit of a pain. Would be great if Wii fit had considered interval training, but can’t have everything!

On reading (on BBC news website) about Jade’s funeral, small tears appeared in my eyes. Same thing happened when I read of her death. Yes, this is freaky. What’s even more freaky is that such ‘leakage’ didn’t come as any surprise to me.

I have only ever watched one series of Big Brother; the one where Jade came fourth. Yes, forth. The winner was Kate… someone, who I think now does some presenting work for an obscure channel. And I didn’t just ‘watch’ the series; observe it now and then. Oh no. I was hooked. Once a friend had informed me about the magic red button, that if pressed, took you right to the BB house, so you could watch it all live (well, almost)… yikes! Hooked!

Even at that time, before the end of the series, I was amazed at how much attention she was being paid, compared to the others. When it was all over, Graham Norton had her on his show. Only her though – none of the others, not even those who came 1st, 2nd or 3rd! He displayed a map of the British Isles, gave her a pointer and taunted her: Show us ‘East Anguler’ (or whatever it was she called it).

I’ve not watched the other stuff she’s been on, not really being a ‘telly’ kind of person (apart from the freak blip that was BB) but cannot deny having always being slightly drawn to articles or news items about her. Perhaps it’s due to having watched her for so long on BB, being… err… herself. Had there been news items about the other contestants (of that series) I may well have been drawn to them to, but I have a feeling there weren’t any.

As soon as I heard she was dying, I was quite gutted. Should… errr… Brad Pitt or Kate Winslet… drop down dead tomorrow, I would be sad, but not particularly effected. Sorry to sound heartless!
The whole thing has made me re-think about the loss of Princess Di. When the nation ‘mourned’ her, I got a bit cross. Yes, it was tragic that she died. Sure. But people die all the time, and generally, unless we know them, it doesn’t effect us. Only a handful of the mourners (out of the trillions of them) actually knew her or had even met her; how could people be crying and wailing about the loss of someone they’d never met?

Finally I think I get it. I’d never met Jade and didn’t know her in the slightest, but having watched her story unfold, first on BB and then in the media at large, I felt some sort of connection. Sure, I might not be a big fan of some of the things she’s done/said, but then I’m sure you wouldn’t be a fan of everything I’ve done/said… it’s just that you are currently unaware of it! The whole Jade media parade aside, I sincerely think her death is tragic. When I saw pictures of the hundreds (thousands?) of mourners who turned up to watch her funeral on the big screens outside the church, and who left flowers at her house, I got it.

I wonder what other things will happen in my life that might make me back-track, and suddenly ‘get it’… understand why so-and-so acted in such a way when such-and-such happened, etc. After all, it’s been 11 years since Di died.

Went to a tartan-tastic Burns Night – our 1st one ever!
My job was to do the ‘Reply from the Lassies’ speech, and here is what I came up with.
Writing and delivering it turned out to be less stressful than working out what to wear (ended up buying a strip of tartan material and making a sort of sash thing, which makes me sound like an accomplished seamstress, which is a lie as I used the iron-on hemming stuff that i use for the kids school trouser hems!)

Reply from the lassies

Please let me start with some info.
About my little… ‘reply’
So you know how things will go
And there won’t be an outcry

I lay all blame upon a man
Rarely is a woman to blame
He emailed to ask if I would oblige:
Colin is his name

I would be honoured, so it read
If you would do, the ‘Reply’
On behalf of the Lassies, so he said
So casual, by the by.

Thus, I swiftly emailed back
To say that would be fine
It’s a shame that I had no idea
Of the stress that would soon be mine

I’d thought this speech was something quick
that I could find online
And print off, just before I came
And read out, at this time.

Yet only a few days ago
To Mr Google I turned
He told me I had to write my own
None was supplied by Mr Burns

The ‘reply’ required a lot of thought
The speech was to be new each time
It wasn’t something he churned out
Not one of his five hundred and fifty-nine

Yikes, I cried – this isn’t right
This is an awful affair
Have they any idea how long it took
Just To work out what to wear?

And glancing back at that email
T’was with horror that I saw
That grace and charm and wit were required
Don’t you know me but at all?

When times are dark, and things are hard
T’is my hubby whom is my light
Help I yelled – I cannot cope
Ha! He said – now shut up and write.

I’d wondered if his Scottish roots
Would prompt him to assist
It turns out that his being an eighth of a Scot
Meant I was merely dismissed

But so I bravely battled on
Back to Google I turned
My ever present buddy in life
So much from him I have learned.

Reveal, he did, ‘Replies’ of lassies
From Burns nights of the past
Please picture the horror on my face
On reading: 15 minutes it should last.

Don’t panic tho, I quickly thought
That this I’d just dismiss
Fifteen minutes of me, I fear
Is surely not your idea of bliss

And furthermore it was revealed
I had to show men up as fools
Whilst also referring to Rob himself
Tell me – who makes up these rules?

And what to say to show men up
To make them sound less wise?
A man can be a useful thing
No woman will deny…s

They work so hard from dawn to dusk
And still put dinner on the table
And sort the kids and clean the house
Oh… whoops – that’s us lassies that are so able.

But men are… they can help round the house.
When from the TV they’re dragged
And they… can be good company
They’re handy… if you need a good nag.

OK, ok, it’s said in jest
I think men quite alright
Despite conning me into doing this
Or laughing at my plight

And as for Burns that famous Scot
A real one, not just in part
T’was two hundred n fifty years ago he was born (tomorrow)
And a bit later, he did depart

The bit in the middle, it seems to consist
Of flirting and being a tart
But he sought out some time to write lots a stuff down
Which now is considered pure art.

Well, my poem is done; it turned out to be fun
My panic was clearly in vain
But just so I’m clear, if you have one next year,
Please don’t make me do it again

So thanks to you Rich, your speech was quite fab
You were so very frank
On behalf of all the lassies here
I’d like to extend our thanks

piccies of the evening can be viewed here, if you’re interested!

This was published on the Generous website Nov 08:

Accident insurance and mayonnaise!

I am a member of a Unison. Generally, apart from waving a sad goodbye to some of my hard-earned cash each month, this doesn’t really mean that much to me. But just the other day I received something from them in the post: free life/accident insurance. Further investigation taught me that if I loose a thumb and index on the same hand, I’ll get £750 (it occurs to me that if I loose a thumb and index finger on different hands, I’ll not get a penny. Charming). If I loose two limbs, I’ll get a whopping £2500 (that might just cover my first week of therapy).

My job as a teaching assistant has tended to be fairly hazard-free to date. Nevertheless, I have duly applied for my freebie; perhaps the only freebie I hope never to cash in on. Watch this space/thumb/index finger/limbs…
Still, it did make me think more about the value we place on things. Or the value we ought place on them. How can a group of people I have never even met place a value on various parts of my body?

The current credit climate has forced me, yet again, to re-examine the value I place on shopping ‘generously’ and all it entails. Take mayonnaise. For the past few years I’ve ordered local/organic/fair trade food from a local food delivery service. It’s great, but with a £3 delivery charge, I’ve now decided to give it a miss. However, they are the only people who can supply us with local mayonnaise. Our local farm shop has mayonnaise… from Staffordshire. I don’t tend to count food produced 170 miles away from where I live as particularly local. Also, it’s very expensive, as was the local mayonnaise I was having delivered. My research has shown that my local Co-op (the best of the worst) do their own brand of mayonnaise, using free range eggs. And it’s cheap! (and that’s not just related to the eggs). So, I could add mayonnaise to the short list of things I do actually buy from Co-op most weeks. It would save money. Saving money is good. Firstly, because I don’t want to run out of it (money, not mayonnaise) and secondly because if I have any spare I can always give it to someone who needs it more. But up until now I’ve valued the fact that my mayonnaise was produced in the same county as my mine. So what’s more important?

Yes, I’m being pedantic; so shoot me. If you do my family will get a nice payout from Unison; they’ll be dancing at my funeral. I suspect the answer is for me to stop thinking so hard and simply to opt for the handy cheap Co-op version, until I can find somewhere else that sells it locally, at a reasonable price. Or, make my own. Recipes anyone…?!

PS For the record, I can’t recall the exact amounts of money the insurance offered me, but it was something along the lines of the above.