Generous wrinkles?

June 15th, 2009

wrinkle
This has just been published here

on Generous website.
They have also interviewed me here

Generous wrinkles?

confessions from a holiday camp divx

Do adverts on the telly stop us being ‘generous’? When we suffer yet another commercial break that inconveniently interrupts what we were attempting to enjoy, does it matter? Do we kid ourselves when we say that we just ignore them; that they don’t have any influence over us… that they don’t alter our efforts to shop less, to buy local/fair trade/organic/eco-friendly, etc?

Take the recent hype over the cream that claims to get rid of your wrinkles, by No.7. When the ‘news’ broke recently, that scientists had done a study and found that for once, a beauty product’s claims were accurate, the result was predictable. In the Boots’ outlet at Liverpool Street, London, over 400 bottles were sold within 90 minutes of the store opening.

But those of us who are hard-core Generous Shoppers aren’t so gullible.
No, we’re not.
Are we?
Errrr… yes, just a bit.

When last in Boots (and I’m rarely in there) I passed a huge display of said product. I paused. I have wrinkles. As they say in the States: do the math! Now, please bear in mind I am not one to splash out on beauty products of any sort and don’t even wear make up. The essentials I do buy tend to be of the generous sort. But I paused, picked up a bottle of said product, held it for a few seconds, thought about my skin and the fantasy of turning back time… then realised it was twenty quid and swiftly returned it to its display.

Proof, then, that adverts have power, even over those of us who consider ourselves immune. What if it had cost two quid – would I have bought it? Please don’t ask me that as I’m trying to put the whole sorry episode behind me. But beware – we’re only human, and while we know that wasting money is not helpful to us, or to people and planet at large, sometimes we’re more susceptible to clever advertising than we realise.
And sometimes we just have to learn to re-name our wrinkles ‘laughter lines’, and move on.

My new energetic best friend

June 10th, 2009

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Good: It’s great for exercising when the weather means I can’t (or refuse to) jog or cycle. Lots of variety of exercise. Love the way the other characters are so encouraging of my efforts to workout, like the 2 who throw hoops to me when I’m doing hula-hooping… they are so kind to stand there and do that, with no benefit to themselves, and smiling all the while. Likewise, those who jog past me tend to look my way, and give me a great big encouraging smile. How nice! This just doesn’t happen in real life (that said, dog-walkers tend to say hi). My trainer is also most friendly and encouraging - almost feel like I know her! A friend of mine (not a Christian) commented that the island you can jog around makes her think of heaven. I know what she means.

Could try harder: Yes there’s a lot of variety, but now I’ve done it a lot (once or twice a week, usually) I do feel like I’m fast running out of surprises. It’s a shame that there aren’t more exercises to unlock, or will those be on version 2, that will cost me another £70, or perhaps even more?! And although my trainer says nice things, they are the SAME things, over and over. Once she’s said it once, that’s enough - it really is. And on that note, it would be useful if instead of her talking though my exercises, I could do something more interesting. So, when I’m doing a 10 min hula-hoop, for example, wouldn’t it be fab if I could use the remote to go online and view facebook, or email, or websites and stuff?! It would make the time fly by faster! There is an option where you can watch TV when you jog, but still… they could be a bit more creative with this. Perhaps the technology just isn’t there (bear in mind I know nothing re technology - almost total luddite!).
Also, I have recently started on ‘interval training’ (whilst jogging, cycling and swimming). But Wii fit is no good for this as there’s nothing that really gets your heart going, despite having several ‘aerobic’ options. What I do is do the less energetic bits using Wii fit, and then do skipping for my ‘flat-out’ intervals, as it were. Which means I have to use a timer and it’s a bit of a pain. Would be great if Wii fit had considered interval training, but can’t have everything!

Missing Jade… missing Di?

April 6th, 2009

bye bye jadeOn reading (on BBC news website) about Jade’s funeral, small tears appeared in my eyes. Same thing happened when I read of her death. Yes, this is freaky. What’s even more freaky is that such ‘leakage’ didn’t come as any surprise to me.

I have only ever watched one series of Big Brother; the one where Jade came fourth. Yes, forth. The winner was Kate… someone, who I think now does some presenting work for an obscure channel. And I didn’t just ‘watch’ the series; observe it now and then. Oh no. I was hooked. Once a friend had informed me about the magic red button, that if pressed, took you right to the BB house, so you could watch it all live (well, almost)… yikes! Hooked!

Even at that time, before the end of the series, I was amazed at how much attention she was being paid, compared to the others. When it was all over, Graham Norton had her on his show. Only her though - none of the others, not even those who came 1st, 2nd or 3rd! He displayed a map of the British Isles, gave her a pointer and taunted her: Show us ‘East Anguler’ (or whatever it was she called it).

I’ve not watched the other stuff she’s been on, not really being a ‘telly’ kind of person (apart from the freak blip that was BB) but cannot deny having always being slightly drawn to articles or news items about her. Perhaps it’s due to having watched her for so long on BB, being… err… herself. Had there been news items about the other contestants (of that series) I may well have been drawn to them to, but I have a feeling there weren’t any.

As soon as I heard she was dying, I was quite gutted. Should… errr… Brad Pitt or Kate Winslet… drop down dead tomorrow, I would be sad, but not particularly effected. Sorry to sound heartless!
The whole thing has made me re-think about the loss of Princess Di. When the nation ‘mourned’ her, I got a bit cross. Yes, it was tragic that she died. Sure. But people die all the time, and generally, unless we know them, it doesn’t effect us. Only a handful of the mourners (out of the trillions of them) actually knew her or had even met her; how could people be crying and wailing about the loss of someone they’d never met?

Finally I think I get it. I’d never met Jade and didn’t know her in the slightest, but having watched her story unfold, first on BB and then in the media at large, I felt some sort of connection. Sure, I might not be a big fan of some of the things she’s done/said, but then I’m sure you wouldn’t be a fan of everything I’ve done/said… it’s just that you are currently unaware of it! The whole Jade media parade aside, I sincerely think her death is tragic. When I saw pictures of the hundreds (thousands?) of mourners who turned up to watch her funeral on the big screens outside the church, and who left flowers at her house, I got it.

I wonder what other things will happen in my life that might make me back-track, and suddenly ‘get it’… understand why so-and-so acted in such a way when such-and-such happened, etc. After all, it’s been 11 years since Di died.

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Burns Night

January 25th, 2009

robert-burnsWent to a tartan-tastic Burns Night - our 1st one ever!
My job was to do the ‘Reply from the Lassies’ speech, and here is what I came up with.
Writing and delivering it turned out to be less stressful than working out what to wear (ended up buying a strip of tartan material and making a sort of sash thing, which makes me sound like an accomplished seamstress, which is a lie as I used the iron-on hemming stuff that i use for the kids school trouser hems!)

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Please let me start with some info.
About my little… ‘reply’
So you know how things will go
And there won’t be an outcry

I lay all blame upon a man
Rarely is a woman to blame
He emailed to ask if I would oblige:
Colin is his name

I would be honoured, so it read
If you would do, the ‘Reply’
On behalf of the Lassies, so he said
So casual, by the by.

Thus, I swiftly emailed back
To say that would be fine
It’s a shame that I had no idea
Of the stress that would soon be mine

I’d thought this speech was something quick
that I could find online
And print off, just before I came
And read out, at this time.

Yet only a few days ago
To Mr Google I turned
He told me I had to write my own
None was supplied by Mr Burns

The ‘reply’ required a lot of thought
The speech was to be new each time
It wasn’t something he side of affect ultram er of bully free gain cymbalta after stopping weight churned out
Not one of his five hundred and fifty-nine

Yikes, I cried – this isn’t right
This is an awful affair
Have they any idea how long it took
Just To work out what to wear?

And glancing back at that email
T’was with horror that I saw
That grace and charm and wit were required
Don’t you know me but at all?

When times are dark, and things are hard
T’is my hubby whom is my light
Help I yelled – I cannot cope
Ha! He said – now shut up and write.

I’d wondered if his Scottish roots
Would prompt him to assist
It turns out that his being an eighth fresh frozen plasma and coumadin of a Scot
Meant I was merely dismissed

But so I bravely battled on
Back to Google I turned
My ever present buddy in life
So much from him I have learned.

Reveal, he did, ‘Replies’ of lassies
From Burns nights of the past
Please picture the horror on my face
On reading: 15 minutes it should last.

Don’t panic tho, I quickly thought
That this I’d just dismiss
Fifteen minutes of me, I fear
Is surely not your idea of bliss

And furthermore it was revealed
I had to show men up as fools
Whilst also referring to Rob himself
Tell me – who makes up these rules?

And what to say to show men up
To make them sound less wise?
A man can be a useful thing
No woman will deny…s

They work so hard from dawn to dusk
And still put dinner on the table
And sort the kids and clean the house
Oh… whoops – that’s us lassies

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But men are… they can help round the house.
When from the TV they’re dragged
And they… can be good company
They’re handy… if you need a good nag.

OK, ok, it’s said in jest
I think men quite alright
Despite conning me into doing this
Or laughing at my plight

And as for Burns that famous Scot
A real one, not just in part
T’was two hundred n fifty years ago he was born (tomorrow)
And a bit later, he did depart

The bit in the middle, it seems to consist
Of flirting and being a tart
But he sought out some time to write lots a stuff down
Which now is considered pure art.

Well, my poem is done; it turned out to be fun
My panic was clearly in vain
But just so I’m clear, if you have one next year,
Please don’t make me do it again

So thanks to you Rich, your speech was quite fab
You were so very frank
On behalf of all the lassies here
I’d like to extend our thanks

piccies of the evening can be viewed here, if you’re interested!

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Accident insurance and mayonnaise!

November 11th, 2008

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I am a member of a Unison. Generally, apart from waving a sad goodbye to some of my hard-earned cash each month, this doesn’t really mean that much to me. But just the other day I received something from them in the post: free life/accident insurance. Further investigation taught me that if I loose a thumb and index on the same hand, I’ll get £750 (it occurs to me that if I loose a thumb and index finger on different hands, I’ll not get a penny. Charming). If I loose two limbs, I’ll get a whopping £2500 (that might just cover my first week of therapy).

My job as a teaching assistant has tended to be fairly hazard-free to date. Nevertheless, I have duly applied for my freebie; perhaps the only freebie I hope never to cash in on. Watch this space/thumb/index finger/limbs…
Still, it did make me think more about the value we place on things. Or the value we ought place on them. How can a group of people I have never even met place a value on various parts of my body?

The current credit climate has forced me, yet again, to re-examine the value I place on shopping ‘generously’ and all it entails. Take mayonnaise. For the past few years I’ve ordered local/organic/fair trade food from a local food delivery service. It’s great, but with a £3 delivery charge, I’ve now decided to give it a miss. However, they are the only people who can supply us with local mayonnaise. Our local farm shop has mayonnaise… from Staffordshire. I don’t tend to count food produced 170 miles away from where I live as particularly local. Also, it’s very expensive, as was the local mayonnaise I was having delivered. My research has shown that my local Co-op (the best of the worst) do their own brand of mayonnaise, using free range eggs. And it’s cheap! (and that’s not just related to the eggs). So, I could add mayonnaise to the short list of things I do actually buy from Co-op most weeks. It would save money. Saving money is good. Firstly, because I don’t want to run out of it (money, not mayonnaise) and secondly because if I have any spare I can always give it to someone who needs it more. But up until now I’ve valued the fact that my mayonnaise was produced in the same county as my mine. So what’s more important?

Yes, I’m being pedantic; so shoot me. If you do my family will get a nice payout from Unison; they’ll be dancing at my funeral. I suspect the answer is for me to stop thinking so hard and simply to opt for the handy cheap Co-op version, until I can find somewhere else that sells it locally, at a reasonable price. Or, make my own. Recipes anyone…?!

PS For the record, I can’t recall the exact amounts of money the insurance offered me, but it was something along the lines of the above.

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'Desperate Housewives' model of church!

September 17th, 2008

let\'s change church!
Yes, so I watch Desperate Housewives. So shoot me. It started off being related to a chapter I wrote for a book (sex and the cynics bloody sunday online crime fiction dvd coumadin drug eruption

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) and also an article online… and then i just carried on watching… escapism at it’s v best!!

any-hoo, the other wk on the show i witnessed a fab model of the church (as in the sunday morning service). yes, really. Lynette decided to start going to church so went along with Bree (presbyterian). Mid-sermon Lynette raised her hand and asked a question related to the sermon: why was there so much suffering in the world. When the minister had given a bit of an answer she asked a couple more questions. Bree was embarrassed and humiliated: “we don’t do that sort of thing at church, she said. Church is for answers, not questions.” “Yes, Lynette replies, but how can you get any answers if you don’t ask questions first?” When Bree apologies to her minister he says he’s always thought church should involve more participation and hoped she’d come again!

I have waffled on about this before, i know, but why are so so many churches stuck with the monologue sermon? Since when did we all want to hear a 20 min lecture on a sunday morning? Now, i’ve actually nothing against a lecture now and then, but just how many other approaches to God’s word we could explore! I like the idea of a short talk (5 mins) then split into discussion groups and feedback afterwards, followed by perhaps another short talk to finish up. Or discussion in pairs even.

Even if we did this slightly more ‘radical’ (though I would rather see it as being normal) learning together just once a month, say, it would be better that nothing. How about having a 4 wk cycle: monologue sermon one wk, prayer the next, small group discussion the next and sharing/testimonies the next? Why are we so hung up on the sunday morning service being just as it’s always been throughout the ages? Tradition is not something to be obeyed… we reserve that honour for God and God alone, don’t we?

it has to be said that ultimately i’m a lot more interested in us ‘being church’ aka the body of christ, than i am with what we do on a sunday morning. it’s how we live as church that’s important. but still, that doesn’t mean sunday mornings have to continue to follow the same pattern for the next trillion years, does it?

come on guys… someone say you’re with me on this…?!
if those desperate housewives can manage it, surely there’s some hope for the rest of us…!!

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Tour of Britain (in Chard!)

September 9th, 2008

stage 3 of the tour started today in… Chard… where i live!!

Chard is famous for being the birthplace of powered flight…. and also for the invention of artificial limbs. But today… we had cyclists in tights!

Mark and I volunteered our services and helped our kids’ school take year 5 and 6 to go and see it (about 140 kids!). It was all v exciting… not quite the tour de France (that we saw earlier this year) as pouring with rain but hey… it was groovy.

I especially liked all the police motorbikes… loads of ‘em… reminded me of ‘Chips’ (american police drama of days of olde!)

a couple more piccies here

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September 6th, 2008

the classic \'family wristband\' shot!a very nice lady from CEL sent me some piccies of the generous session I did at GB this year (see previous post for details) and they are here (in one of them it really looks like i’m picking my nose but i like to think i was just giving it a good scratch, but you can judge for yourself!)

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finally, whilst wandering around flicker i found this piccie of someone with their v fave books balanced on their head, and one of them was dearbob, so am dead chuffed!!

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August 15th, 2008

tilly climbs big tree!off to Greenbelt a wk today - hurray!

am doing 1 session this year, in ‘the kitchen’, SAT 2-3:30pm, with my good friend Claire.
It’s called ’still living generously’ and is all about generous

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looking forward to things being a lot more chilled this year… hurrah-hooray. (as in, i’m not doing too much)

if anyone’s interested, i have a adult wknd ticket to GB that i’d be willing to sell for a bargain price!

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back from me hols

August 8th, 2008

Sagrada Familiajust back from 2 wks camping!

we went

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through france, catching a stage of the tour de france on the way, to the very bottom.
staying in St Tropez (4 nights) but visited Monaco, Cannes, Nice and Marseilles also.
Then 3 nights in Roses, Spain (beach).
Then 1 night barcelona (travelodge, £16 for family room!)
then through Andorra and back through France.

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just being with my fab family

observations:
in france and spain they seem to have the same cd issued the exact same to campsites/garages/snack bars full of early 80s brit pop. which is fine by me as i like most of it, but still, a bit odd.

when i was learning french at school, they kindly taught us how to cope at a hotel. but perhaps, for those who didn’t think they were going to be high earners in life, they should have given the option of learning how to cope at a campsite in france… equal opportunities and all that.

‘they’ say that when you go on yr hols, there will be someone on the beach you’re on who will know someone you know. but i STILL found it gob-smacking to happen to speak to a couple in a camper van in huge campsite in Roses, Spain, because they were english, and then happen to find out we were all christians, and THEN this led to discovery that he worked for Scripture Union (publisher of my books) and knew people I know there, etc! we’ve already become facebook friends!!

one for the ladies: if you get a mosquito bite on your leg one day, don’t shave over it the following day.

you can view holiday piccies here:
and a few more here
(click on 1st piccie to enlarge, then continue to click again to view next piccie and so on)

July 8th, 2008

Just had this published on the generous

website:

The ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ Dare.

Would you call yourself a bibliophile, a philobiblist… or perhaps just a common garden ‘bookworm’? Welcome to the club! And now you’re initiated, how about this for starters. Did you know…

Cinderella’s slippers were originally made out of fur. The story was changed in the 1600s by a translator.
Dr. Seuss wrote “Green Eggs and Ham” after his editor dared him to write a book using fewer than 50 different words.

Or maybe you’re too busy absorbing the latest Jodi Picoult, Martin Amis or Ben Elton to have time to acquire such knowledge. Either way, like me, you’re addicted, you know it, and you love it.

But my approach to purchasing these beloved books has altered in the past few years. It began to occur to me that there are people who are suffering in this world because of the vast amount of forests being stripped of trees that are vital to their way of life. That are vital to the way of life for our whole planet, now and in the years to come. In addition to this, perhaps I was wasting my money on a book I knew I might only read once, and then quite likely never read again. If I had that kind of money to throw around, ought I rather throw it in the direction of someone more needy than myself?

Thus, more recently I find myself doing the following:
Borrowing from the library surviving christmas download free (you can borrow up to sixteen at a time from my local!)
Buying second hand review mircette denver breast augmentation surgeons gummy (Ebay, or the Amazon marketplace).
Buying new

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So take a leaf out of my borrowed/second-hand book. When you go on holiday this year, learn the above De Seuss trivium off by heart, and amaze your poolside companions. Go on, I dare you…!

I'm no Paula Radcliffe

June 24th, 2008

As always, been meaning to blog for ages but not quite got round to it. They should invent an 8th day of the wk, just for keeping up with blogs/facebook, etc!

nearly blogged about 1/2 term when went to plymouth with hubbie (no kids!) and saw lighthouse, and then went to portland lighthouse with kids not long after (you see a theme developing…?!) and had accompanying piccies and all, but all in all, really not that interesting.

But, here’s something that i feel i should ask anyone who’s reading, and female: can you pee in the bushes? went on long cycle ride with friends (and all our kids) on sunday. the other mum commented that she had no problem peeing in the bushes if needs be. I DO have a problem with it. Tried it long ago and… it wasn’t pretty. Girls weren’t designed to ‘aim’ in that way. is it just me? are there courses you can go on to perfect this skill? it’s not that i’m anti nature and crave civilisation… i’m a happy camper when camping, and love the outdoors (when not wet)… but i just can’t bring myself to relieve myself behind a bush, for fear that i’ll end up with wet feet.

is there a helpline anyone can direct me to?

apparently paula radcliffe, when she needs to poo (during a race) just stops where she is, pulls down her nick-naks, and does it there and then. she doesn’t even go to the side of the track, let alone head for some bushes!!!

well, if i was after a gold medal i might adopt this approach, but generally speaking, i’m not, so i’ll stick with holding it in until i find a real ceramic bowl in which to plonk my behind on.

bet you’re wishing i’d stuck to lighthouses now…!

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Why pay more?

May 8th, 2008

every little helps...!Here is something i’ve just had posted on the ‘generous’ forgetting sarah marshall movie download website, re ethical shopping:

Why Pay More?

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‘Why pay more?’ ASDA enquires of us, as though we’d be stark raving bonkers to ever shop anywhere else. Despite the rising cost of fuel and food, and the phrase ‘credit crunch’ becoming as familiar as the sound of our own breathing, large retailers are still determined to fill their shelves, and our homes, with cheap ‘stuff’.

‘Why pay more?’ we generous-minded shoppers reply. ‘Maybe because the people who grew or made this item need a fair wage in order to survive and raise their families. Because we don’t want to pollute the planet with ‘nasties’ and if it costs a bit more to buy organic or eco-friendly or fairly traded, well, we’ll do our best.’

That said, ‘ethical shopping’ has never been that clear cut. Many major retailers have cottoned on to the demand for ‘ethical’ goods. Take Primark. Back in 2005, Ethical Consumer Magazine voted them the least ethical clothing chain. The following year Primark became a member of the Ethical Trading Initiative. They now have an organic cotton range. Priced from £4, they’re a classic Primark bargain, but this time with an ‘eco-friendly’ tag. We can even carry our bargain home in an eco-friendly carrier bag!

Browsing through our favourite ‘generous’ style catalogue or website, we’re unlikely to be able to purchase a similar organic item so cheaply. A dilemma presents itself: To buy that organic T-shirt from Primark, and then be ‘generous’ with the money we save. Or to buy it from our small independent ‘ethical’ supplier (Traidcraft, for example) at a higher price, but be more confident about the ethics of the company we’re buying from.

Maybe the ‘generous’ way to shop is to buy less. Taking clothing for example:

* Make the clothes we have last longer (buy good quality)
* Swap with friends
* Buy second hand from eBay, jumble sales, charity shops
* Don’t be a slave to the latest fashions

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one for the ladies…!

April 3rd, 2008

yummmmmm...!!!note to all men: please be alerted that this post will bore you to tears and only fuel your argument that women are always moaning about their weight, which is clearly untrue (we moan about a whole RANGE of topics!)

anyhoo… my message is that i cunningly lost about 4 pounds between Sept and Dec… then had a 4 day pig-out over xmas… put about 6 pounds on!
So, starting at a place even worse than before in Jan, cunningly lost about 4 pounds before Easter… then… guess what… you’ll never guess… had a day pig out… put it all back on!
so now trying all over again. Would like to get some new jeans when i get down to 9 stone (only couple of pounds to go now)… rarely buy myself new clothes but think you can get fairly traded jeans in some marks n sparks, so we’ll see.

so, i ask myself… was it worth it? those few days of stuffing everything that looks yummy in my mouth? with the result that it ruined my several months of low-carb hard work..?!

answer: yeah, course!

PS just adding this a couple of days later… a teeny tad worried that some of u might be booking me into a clinic somewhere, assuming that i am a size zero trying to slim down, who barfed up into the loo between each paragraph above (but then how would i have done that, apart from if using a laptop i guess?!)… i am only 5 ft and 1/2 inch, and thus to get to 9 stone is quite average weight-wise, and not in any way beckham-esque!
of course, if you weren’t

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The writing pays off, finally!

February 23rd, 2008

yes, it’s official… i am a wealthy novelist!

got a statement in the post yesterday, informing me that the PLR (public lending rights) people have just given me a sum of money. Every time someone takes one of my books out of the library, i get a (teeny) sum of money. they add them all up during the year and then treat you with it!

£4:25.

yeah, baby!!!

never let it be said that i’m not fully contributing to the family finances. hubbie’s got stiff competition now… might have to start working longer hours to keep up with me!

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